It’s easy to get overwhelmed by parenting buzz words and the powerful instagram quotes, which simply fuels the mom guilt you already have, leaving you feeling crap as a parent. You know inside yourself that there has to be more to being a parent, that the way things are, can’t be the way things are. There must be more of a connection, a way to a peaceful household, or at the very least- some cooperation.

What if I told you that I have never bribed my child? That I can count on one hand the times I have ‘lost it’ with her and raised my voice. That I have never experienced ‘suicide hour’ or had any ‘conflicts’ with her where I was not the calm confident leader. That the parent- child relationship in my home is one of respect, where feelings are validated and tools are developed. We are by no means perfect but for the last 3 years we have consciously parented our child. This means that we have not used any manipulation or control techniques to get her to behave or conform. We haven’t used praise or punishment so that she develops an internal locus of control, internal motivation and connection to her authentic self rather than an external one. We don’t lie or stretch the truth to make things ‘child appropriate’. We discuss and face facts, mistakes, disappointment and anger head on, while developing and guiding tools to self-regulate. We lay meaningful deliberate boundaries aimed at teaching and protecting rather than shaming. Ultimately our child is learning self control and self trust, as well as trust in us.

I know that what we’ve achieved with our daughter is noteworthy and can provide a guiding light for parents everywhere especially in our current turbulent world where corruption and manipulation of the masses comes standard. I know that we have the power to create meaningful change by changing the way we raise our kids.